“Was my boyfriend scamming me?” – Confused Lady Seeks Advice

From Nairaland.

I want to start this post by saying PLEASE do not judge my situation. (I’ll try to be brief. Please ask questions if you have any)

So almost 2 years ago I met a guy online. He was from Nigeria but he was here in the states. No green card. He had a job but lost it later in our relationship. Super sweet. Very attentive. We hit it off immediately, talked and text on the phone all day everyday for about a month.

Then out of the blue he starts acting shady then I came to find out he had a girlfriend. We stopped talking for maybe 2 weeks but started back up again as friends (he told me that he wasn’t with her anymore, I believed him) and eventually we became “exclusive” we moved in together.

Since we’ve been together he has cheated on me several times with multiple different women. I would find him on dating sites messaging women I’ve found Facebook messages, if messages, text messages. Most of them the women never responded to. Some of them did. Some of them he revealed his real name to and some he gave a fake name. Every time I would out information he would apologize cry, beg, plead for me to forgive him and take him back and I did every time.

I later found out that he was a scammer. He pretended to be other people online. Sometimes men sometimes women to get them to send him money. He would scam people on eBay making up fake PayPal invoices and taking the product and never giving them the money for it.

His friends also have taken people’s credit cards and swiped them. He somehow got a hold of people’s bank info etc. (I’ve now come to understand this to be 419 scamming) I never saw any of the money, meanwhile I was working and taking care of us.

Whenever we went out I paid for everything. Vacations. Birthdays. Literally everything. He never pressured me to marry him or asked me for large sums of money. He would ask for money for his bus card or phone bill. Small things like that. I loved him. I supported him. I wanted to help him. I wanted him to do better and be better. I wanted him to change so badly but he never did.

Cut to 2 months ago. I find out he’s been cheating again. And in my house. I kick him out, we break up. He’s apologizing he’s crying he seems genuinely sorry promises to change the whole bit..

The minute I gave him another chance he flipped the script. Started acting shady. Was telling me one thing and doing the complete opposite. He would tell me he still loves me and still wants to be with me etc.

cut to 2 days ago I find out on Snapchat that he’s in a new relationship and “in love” and taking trips with this girl.

Mind you just last week he wanted to still work things out with me. I’m completely over it now. My question is was I apart of the scam? Or was this just a typical case of dealing with an unfaithful man? I knew he was a scammer. I begged him to stop but he wouldn’t but for whatever reasons I never thought he would scam me.

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